Being a Safe Slut and Sexual Wellness
Getting diagnosed with herpes GHSV2 led Brooklyn’s Tricia Wise to promote safer sex and sex positivity. She is a holistic esthetician and makeup artist, as well as a passionate reiki practitioner and herbalist. Read what Tricia had to say when she talked with My Sex Bio about holistic sexual wellness and being a “safe slut.”
MSB: What does it mean to be a "safe slut"?
TW: Being a safe slut means that you are sex-positive and you practice safer sex.
After I was diagnosed with HSV, I wanted to create a space for STI-positive people to still feel sexual and confident, which, in my opinion, is being a slut!
It’s about taking control of your sexual health and being informed about your health and wellness, while also being sexually liberated. This is a space designed for STI-positive people but also encourages STI-negative people to do the same!
MSB: You specialize in holistic HSV and vulva wellness. What does that look like? What are some examples of holistic practices or rituals that can benefit your sexual wellness?
TW: As a herbalist and esthetician, I've always made products that have worked for me. After my HSV diagnosis, I formulated a healing oil that really helped my outbreaks and scarring. So I wanted to share what worked for me with other HSV-positive people. I also make a lemon balm tincture; it is a herbal extraction and the equivalent of a very strong cup of tea aka a "potion," that you can take to help calm your nervous system and ease stress.
As Safe Slut grows, I also will be releasing some new products. Also, you don't need to have HSV to use my products. They promote overall vulva wellness!
My favorite holistic practice for sexual wellness is yoni steaming. To those who don’t know what it is, you take various herbs and put them in a pot of boiling water, then you lean over the pot and steam your vulva+vagina. This helps with various vulva issues, helps connect to your body, and can even help heal sexual traumas.
MSB: We believe at My Sex Bio that mindful reflection on one's sexual story is one of the best educators for your body's wants/needs. How do you practice self-reflection? What other practices might help you tune into your body's needs?
TW: I definitely practice mindful reflection for my body’s sexual wants/needs. After getting HSV, you learn a lot more about your body. I understand what I put in or on my body can directly affect the virus—such as eating the wrong foods, using the wrong lube, etc. I like to spend a lot of time on meditation, yoni steaming, self-pleasure and yoga to do these reflections. This helps me make decisions not only for HSV and sex but also daily life wants and needs.
MSB: In what ways does slut-shaming still exist today?
TW: Slut-shaming unfortunately still exists, probably for several reasons. Mainly, it stems from the patriarchy that works to suppress vulva owners and our sexuality. Capitalism also thrives off of patriarchy. It makes it easy for society to be sold the idea that we are unworthy if we look a certain way, our labia looks different, we have an STI, are sex workers, are not hetero, or aren’t white, etc. This creates that fear and shame toward sexual positivity and STIs, which has been reinforced for years. There’s also a lack of sexual education and information that makes many people unaware of how this works.
Many nurses and doctors out there have shamed us for getting HSV or just for our sexuality. Slut-shaming also exists on the political level—no or less funding for Planned Parenthood, companies being allowed to deny birth control access, etc. The HPV vaccine was created long before it was actually encouraged for young teens because doctors thought it would make people “more promiscuous.” Considering HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer, that’s just a big yikes.
Luckily, there’s been a lot of work done by sex educators and activists to help change the slut-shaming narrative.
MSB: I have noticed a lot of people reclaiming words like “slut” and ”bimbo,” etc. How have you reclaimed that word for yourself personally and in the public setting (on social media)?
TW: Even before my diagnosis, I always liked to use words like "slut" to describe myself—I’ve always felt empowered by it. When I was diagnosed, I wanted ”slut” to be in my business name.
I want to show that being openly sex-positive isn’t wrong or dirty and demonstrate how important reclaiming “slut” is.
Thank you for talking with us, Tricia Wise.
You can hop on to Tricia’s website and her Instagram page to know more about her.
